do you miss me when i miss you

 masuk 3 minggu tak nampak. macam mana ni. 

Will you marrry me?

Baru ni I gi basuh kereta. So ade lah mak chic sorang with her daughter and grandaughter. sembang2 social kampung , then suddenly the makchic asked me. 

“ Kawen dok lagi ni?”

at this age. 40. orang baru started tanya perihal kahwin. maybe orang nampak aku muda . well millenial. 

Tak tahu la. 

Will you marry me?

you know to whom I want to marry before ? Yes I want to marry TT . not because I love him. because.. he lives less than 5 minutes from my house. yes kalau kawen and gaduh senang nak balik rumah. I knew him since we were in primary. and i know hes single.  and hes 42. 

Even he is jobless ( i guess)err okay freelance . takpe duit belanja kite asing2. hes a musican, he is a photographer. he sells pictures .he knows how to make good coffee. so okay la. tapi tu lah dia pun taknak kt I kot. 

back 2022 ade jugak kenal orang. Masa tu I cakap if ade orang ajak date keluar. I setuju je. biasalah Allah akan uji apa yang kite cakap. All of sudden ade lelaki asked me out. tak handsome, semua tak ada dalam checklist. tapi I tak keluar pun jugak. sampailah suatu hari i like a month bertukar pendapat. I rasa nak ajak dia keluar. and guess what he was married on that day. Alhamdulillah, so tak payah nak kat dia. 

I penah sign up for tinder. it was only last for 5 hours, lepas scroll jumpa dokter yang i selalu nampak dekat fyp. dia beli tinder premium. then i paranoid, i taknak situasi bila kita blind date. sampai2 like “ Lah dia ni!?” so I deleted the account. 

So here I am. I am not pretty. Im old, I only have money for myself. I have a sick brother to take care of. I have nothing to give to a marriage. But I kelakar. I can make you laugh with my silly jokes. yes my garang ustazah, berair air mata laughed at my silly jokes. I can listen to your story. I can make you tell your story. I only cook for myself and my brother. Pretty simple meal.

hmm will you marry me? errr.

why you acted weird?

​why do you acted weird? do you like me too? haaaaa. tak tayoo.

20Facts about me? Well People Changed.

This was written on 2014. well I almost died on this year. 

- Since that everyone did the 20facts about me. I pon nak rasa self-centered jugalah.

1. My name is Kartika Malini. everyone who knows my name will say. " cantiknya nama, mesti tuan dia lawa" tapi 95% of people who met me said "hmmmm" hahaha. terkono.

2. I am the youngest of my family yet not be spoiled.

3. Officially on the certificate (bunyi macam serius kan) , I am a contractor. but FOR REAL  I am just a 'puppet contractor' who needs to sign documents.boss suruh sign. aku sign. I know I put myself into jeopardize but pengorbanan adik untuk abangnya, apa salahnya. for real I am a clerk or a runner. sometimes a farmer.

4.i hate gyms. i did several times to fall in love with gyms. but aargh not for me. masuk bilik kedap udara, lepas tu bersenam.I feel like stupid.

5. I hate carrots. i hate carrots. i try to chew it and swallow it, but finally i split it out. kalau I masak carrots, I akan bagi carrots tu lembikkkk selembiknya baru I telan. arggh I hate carrots.

6. my first cassette that i bought was Nadia (Salam Kekasih) it was in 1996. " walau kehadiranku hanyalah sementara, bukan salah mu sayang kira kau jatuh cinta, akan ku pergi jauh takkan kembali, salam maaf permisi ku undur diri"

7. I easily fall in love at the first sight.tengok orang handsome sikit jatuh cinta lalu. bukan susah pon. tapi kalau jatuh cinta betul-betul orang yang I nak tak pernah handsome pon. contohnya pipiyapong.haha

8. I don't drive. i have driving license but i don't drive. but i can drive. whatever.

9. I can't swim. but I really want to.tunggu ah I belajar berenang. facts ni akan hilangggg. facts ni akan jadi 19 facts about me.

10. sometimes I hypocrite in a best way. tengoklah orang yang I berhadapan la.Takkan tengok makcik nak buat macam kawan.

11. I love blackberry phone. Blackberry has made for those who are loyal. thats why Blackberry susah nak rosak. I pakai blackberry dah nak masuk 4 tahun. still tak rosak. thats why blackberry dah nak pupus because everyone dah tak loyal, macam handphone2 zaman sekarang.pakai setahun dahhhhhh rosakkk. kannnnn.

12. I love cats. dulu i tak suka kucing. since my mom passed away. Allah kurniakan sayang kepada kucing. kira gantila. i wish i have my own house. so i boleh ajak kucing-kucing I masuk dalam rumah.

13. I boros.

14. I dah start bisnes dari darjah 2. mak I selalu tak bagi duit poket. dia akan bagi barang untuk dijual, contohnyaa pensel ke, gula-gula ke. untung I ambil. modal bagi balik. so bila time sekolah dulu, poket penuh dengan syiling.

15. i pernah jadi baby sitter dekat nursery kakak i.

16.allergic orang kedekut. 

17.i have 15 anak saudara. hari raya memang kopak.

18. Prefer tea than coffee.

19. for me gemuk is variety. yelaa ade orang gemuk, kurus, pendek, tinggi. pernah tengok victoria secret punya show or miss world, peagant queen. muka semua sama. badan semua sama.tapi i perempuan je boleh gemuk. lelaki tak boleh. lelaki memang ditakdirkan untuk menjadi tegap sebab tu metabolisme mereka tinggi. so lelaki gemuk. please you need to do something. ( belebe)

20.i love myself.haha

Omg, Facts apa yang I share dulu ni? well that was the younger me. Okay lets talk about the facts. Lets make the fact right.

1) Yes my name is Kartika Malini. You may call me Kay, KK, Teacher KK, Tik, Kekek, Kak Kay , Kaykies and Sis Kay ( Only Dr. F is allowed to call by this name wahhh)

2) At my 40s , finally I realised that I ve been spoiled too much.  

3) Im not the puppet contractor anymore.  Back 2017, my brother broke. The office shut down. All the staffs resigned. I pun resigned. I’d crisis with my brother too. Since the company under my name, nak taknak I kena teruskan jugak. I helped him on the small projects.( Abang aku tu screenshot pon tak reti). At the same time. I did part time tutor at my sister’s transit. ( till now).  Years 2020-2025 were the best years. walaupun kadang mental breakdown jugak ( i gained weight) tapi tu laa

soft spot jugak like setelah lamaa aku kerja dengan abang aku, akhirnya abang aku dah kenalkan

aku as “Ni adik saya, kite kerja sama sama”  . Tapi

lately, with the Govt  Beaucracy tapi rasa this year, plan i untuk keluar peacefully dari company ni. I dont know yet, I still istikharah. Secretly I love this job. I dapat pahala banyak. renovating school, building roads for people, supply furniture for school, even I only got small commisions, but im happy to help. tapi duit habis la. duit memang habis. 

4) yes i still hate gyms. 

5) yes i still hate carrots. and I dont eat ketupat sotong. 

6) why i shared about my first cassette? 

7) easily falling in love? really? i dont even know myself anymore? like what? 

8) I drive now. My brother Amru gave his old car to me before hes gone completely insane ( yeah thats another story. it was tragic, still not ready to talk about it). 

9) I still cant swim.

10) I m old now. I treat all people as best as I can be. 

11) Blackberry? btw i never buy my own phone. Semuanya orang bagi. dari i form 4 till now. Nokia, blackberry, iphone 6, iphone 11, now iphone 17 pro cosmic orange. Ya Allah baiknya lah Mu kat aku. 

12) yes i still love cats. i love animals. semua animals berhak hidup di atas dunia atas kadar masing2. 

13) i boros? i boros and broke. dughhh. i never do paylater..yet..

14) i love bussiness? hahaha. tapi tu lah i tak boleh bussiness sangat, pasal i tend to bagi sahaja kat orang. ko kenapa KK?

15) ni fact salah. i didnt baby sit. i dont even know how to handle babies. jaga tolong tengok2 boleh lah. but i am kid friendly. entahlaa, I kalah dengan kids. Kalau masa tu nak marah sangat ke apa, if ade kids, i akan auto jadi sejuk. 

16) still hate orang kedekut. Belanja je lah Allah bagi rezeki kot. 

 

17 ) now i have cucu saudara . 3 orang . hmm still kopak. they robbed me.

18 ) people change. i am into coffee now.

19) no u cannot be gemuk . gemuk sucks. tahun ni, because of kegemukan, i cannot walk, i grumpy, i hate myself. hiding myself, hate myself, so go lose some weights. you will find yourself again.

20) 

My Liberation Note

Tahun ni I dah masuk four series. I ada blog baru untuk I tulis dengan bahagianya www.morekay.blogspot.com

hi 2026, life begins at 40.

who did just turn 40 ? yes it’s me. 

Alhamdulillah. aku ni bukannya life achiever sangat. tak pernah lagi aku tetapkan umur 28 aku akan pastikan akan berkahwin, umur 30 ade rumah. bla bla. ingin tu ade tapi  untuk push myself untuk laksanakan tu tak pernah. Ye ke tak pernah. Ye la wehh

Aku tak pernah pun kumpul duit, untuk pergi travel. All of sudden, Allah rezekikan aku pergi je. London, Paris , Amsterdam, Australia, Japan, Korea etc semua fully sponsored. Even buat umrah pun fully sponsored. Nikmat manalah aku nak dustakan. Thank you Allah.

And selama aku hidup i never buy me a phone. dari dulu sampai sekarang semua kakak bagi. Kereta pun abang bagi. and the funny fact, i dah jadi ceo umur 26. hahahah

btw, ingat tak i kena blacklisted tak boleh keluar negara, pasal I ade hutang gst bla bla. Kan I doa depan kaabah, harap benda ni selesai magically. yessss one day the GST called me. Dia kata , they did mistake. Nama I clear. I dah boleh travel. And GST bagi balik semua duit yang telah dibayar time I nak gi umrah tahun lepas. Well Ade hari hidup I ni sangat kelakar. Tapi ade jugak kadang anxiety. dah 40 biasalah tu anxiety.

Dear TT

hmm.. TT i tak tahu u suke ke i or dok.

tapi bile kite bumped into each other u side eyes. 

i tunggu u 2 tahun dah untuk u say hello.

tapi takdok. 

so sampai sini sahajalah. bye. 

 

“if you cant convince them, confuse them” so bs.